Runaway astronaut recited by Adwit
Mom, I’m all packed and I’m running away forever. Goodbye. Wait, what? I’m running away and you will never see me again. Not ever, ever, ever. Oh honey, why are you running away? I have ears and ears of reasons.
Can you tell me your most recent reason? You wouldn’t let me play Pirates of the Catabean with Hunkamunka. Oh, do you remember why I wouldn’t let you? You said cats don’t like water. What is Hunkamunka? A cat. What were you going to do with him? Send him off in search of buried cabinet.
How were you going to send him off? With an eye patch. Sitting inside of what? That jolly pirate ship, which is really a laundry basket. And where was this most exciting adventure going to take place? In the bathtub, which would be full of your madam’s fancy pants bubble bath.
Stella, what would be other than the bubbles and a mad cat wearing an eye patch in a laundry basket? Water. Lots and lots of water. What exactly happened the last time you played Pirates of the Catabean with Hunkamunka? The bathroom flooded, but I’m still running away and there’s nothing that I can do to stop you. Nope. Can you at least tell me where you’re going so I can send a postcard?
I’m going to Mercury. Well, it’s pretty hot there. Almost 800 degrees on Sunday, so pack sunscreen. But it’s super cold at night, so bring all your winter clothes. Even my elephant ear musk from kindergarten. Especially your elephant ear musk from kindergarten and a snow pants too. Maybe Venus would be a better choice. I couldn’t agree more,
but Venus has about 18,000 volcanoes. So watch where you walk. Venus is off the list. You know, I’ve always wanted to go to Mars. I bet those Martians are super cute. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. Mom, there is no proof Martians exist. I know, I know, but if they do, I think it would be fun to meet them. I’m not running away to be fun.
Mars is off the list. How about Jupiter? Jupiter is a gas giant. Just dust and clouds. There’s nowhere for me to sit down. Plus, that’s that very big storm going on for thousands of years. So you need your umbrella. Next planet, why are you so excited? You should be sad because I’m running away forever.
Well, travel is fun. I mean, I’ll miss you, but you’ll have a blast. How about Uranus? It’s another gas giant, so it doesn’t have a surface either. Neptune? Nope. I’m going to live on Pluto. But Pluto’s not a planet anymore, which is totally unfair, just like my entire life. So I am running as far as I can.
For Pluto or the others, actually, you have to pack oxygen since they don’t have it. Where can I get oxygen? Oh, at the doctor’s office. That’s perfect. I could get donuts afterwards, just like we always do after my doctor’s appointments. Or you could stay home, unpack that really heavy backpack, and we’ll go donuts together now. That would be out of this world.
Wait, I hear something in the bathtub. Stella, where is Hunkamunkam right now? Oh, he’s streaming the English channel.